Day 29: Express Yourself

"... I'd practice [singing] a little bit more because obviously you have a lot to express."

~Rachel Berry; Throwdown

Often times I've wondered; Why?

Why in the world am I getting obsessed over a television show?

Especially one as -- let's face it -- follows in the tradition of Cop Rock and High School Musical?


If I'm honest with myself; I guess the most simpliest of answers is:  It makes me happy.

Admit it, when life starts to suck you often need something -- desperation sometimes leads something to be anything -- to bring a smile to your face (even if you want to either cry, scream, rage, etc.)

Long time ago, I realized that I crave simplicity.  Simplicity in my job.  Simplicity in my personal life.  Simplicity in my family.

Like when you were a child and the only things that made your day were hugs, cookies, and quite possibily a talking muppet/puppet.  Simple.

And despite my craving for the big city lights, Broadway, and travel; I found the quiet and simplicity in those big dreams! 

You ever find yourself sitting alone on a rail train, staring out the window at the roving pictuesque view, headphones playing a tune you know backwards and forward yet... and yet you've never felt so a silent peace before?

Or sitting in a city park, a book in your hands, the hustling and bustling of traffic and life moving all around you, skyscrapers towering overhead with people walking and talking all around yet... and yet you've zoned yourself -- and only yourself -- in the experience of doing this all on your own?

Obviously I have or I wouldn't be talking this way...

My point is, I'm one of those people that found the joy in not just being alone, but finding the essence of simplicity in an otherwise complicated world.

In Glee I found that joy.  Despite all the baby-mama dramas, despite all the love shaped explosions, despite the outrageous numbers, despite the tears that have sprung forth... I see in Glee the pure joy it has brought to me each week it was on.

What I also found is the smile (and the loud obnoxious singing) brought upon my lips everytime I listen to the soundtrack.

Which is what I'm doing as we speak (currently "Proud Mary", few moments ago "Bust a Move").

Despite the fact that (for personal reasons I dare not speak) I feel like crying and raging all at once... I smile because I atleast feel a flutter of joy amidst my anger and sorrow.

... though looking at my playlist right now, I fear that tears will actually trickle down as soon as they croon to "smile even though your heart is breaking..."