So of course I decided to make one myself!
See?
Today's posting will be a "Top Five Quotes" list featuring the acerbic love-to-hate educator... Sue Sylvester! I know, I know... How the hell can you pick just a handful of Sue quotes? It's like Angelina Jolie, or Kate Gosselin, or even Octomom who their favorite child is.... Well, in the spirit of Sue, my response; Whatever child actually serves a better purpose in life is the "favorite" child.
Top Five Sue Sylvester Quotes
5. "That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching — and that includes an elementary school production of Hair." (Episode 1.02; Showmance)
Of course she was speaking about New Directions' first public performance (an all out grope-fest to the wicked diddy of Salt-N-Pepper's Push It). And while I didn't at all find it "offensive," I kind of had to agree with the tone in her delivery of that line. Thus began my growing love-to-hate affair with Coach Sue.
4. "You're right, Will. I have been trying to destroy your club with a conviction I can only call 'religious.'" (Episode 1.07; Throwdown)
There's something about that line that screams "Must use it someday" that makes it a Classic Line (aka one that the viewer will one day quote in a similar real life situation). That and once again Jane Lynch's delivery made us both snicker and fear for poor Mr. Schue.
3. "I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one." (Episode 1.07; Throwdown)
The entire episode ALONE was filled with a lot of PC jokes that sadly I could only pick one to truly represent Sue's greatness. However, let's be perfectly honest, this line pretty much ties with the following roll-call of...
SUE'S KIDS!
2. "You'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at. Right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't look like a lesbian. Love you like a sistah!" (Episode 1.13; Sectionals)
As much as I was rooting for New Directions in this episode, I found myself really disliking Sue... but once more the woman wins me over to the darkside with her snarl, her wit, and her insults (though I have to admit, that first part was kind of below the belt, even for a woman whom we've come to discover in the episode titled "Wheels" that she has a challenged sister she loves).
(and drum roll please...)
1. "I'll need to see that set list for Sectionals after all, and I want it on my desk, warm from the laminator at 5:00 p.m. And if it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat, and then, on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face." (Episode 1.08; Mash-Up)
This is my number one not just because of the "WTF is she talking about?", but also because the amount of emotions I was feeling the moment I was watching her unravel her threat. It ranged from "Oh God, she's back...", "Oh NO, she's going to harm a kitty cat!", "Oh no, no, no... poor kitty..." and finally... "WTF?! His face?! But... but... What happened to the kitty cat?!"
It is my ultimate hope that if/when Jane Lynch wins that Golden Globe come January (and hopefully she's an Emmy-contender), they show this particular clip during the ceremony!
Well... that's it for now. I'm currently working on a few more lists before the year's up, and definitely before the second half of Season One. Maybe I'll be inspired a bit more once I possess within my grasps the Glee DVDs...
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Pictures of Sue's Kids and Santana's C came from Glee Daily Photos
Quotes are provided in part from Glee-Wiki and TV Fanatic; Glee Quotes
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